(Teufels Gewürzgarten)
Even the devil loved his granny, and as a young devil boy, he loved to visit her at her cabin high in the Wilder Kaiser mountains!
He would spend many weeks there every summer at her place: teasing the animals, swimming in the creeks, and playing all kinds of mischief on the climbers. He always had so much fun at granny’s place, but there was one thing that he could not
stand: Granny’s cooking! For some reason her soups tasted like dirt, her casseroles were so boring, and even the birds and other animals stayed away from her pies that she sat in the window! Granny was a
vegetarian but wasn’t a very good cook.
So, this one day, the devil sat at the kitchen table looking glum. He had a long face and a big bowl of green soup that was getting cold as he stared at it. Granny eyed him and wondered, „what ever is wrong with that little devil. What can I do to get him to eat?“
After that meal, the devil was so disgusted (and hungry) that he decided he had to do something about it! He couldn’t eat another one of Granny’s horrible tasting soups or stews. He was a meat eater and he began to think up a plan.
„How can I make this food taste better?“ He thought.
„I like meat...especially the taste of human meat and souls!“
„But how can I get the flavor into her dishes?“
He thought of an idea: „I know, I could just cut up some climbers and put them into her soup pot!“
But then knew: „No, that would be too obvious. It has to be secret because she’s a vegetarian!“
He thought and thought...and then he came up with a plan! „I know...what if I could make the veggies taste more like humans? It would be almost as good as eating the real thing!!“
„What if I sprinkled the soil where she grows her veggies with human (fertilizer)?“
And so he had his plan, but there was still a problem: Where would he get the humans?
Then, he remembered all the people who visited the Wilder Kaiser and used the bathroom
everywhere and left their toilet paper behind and those who threw trash all around, and still others who wanted to cut down all the beautiful trees. He knew there would be plenty of them...and no one would miss a few of them every now and then!
So the devil began to trick and trap these bad people. He would sit on top of the „Death Seat“ mountain and watch all day for these people to misbehave and then he would lure them away to their deaths!
Once he had gathered enough of these bad people, he would drag them to the Fleischbank and
grind them against the rocks into fine dust to use as fertilizer for the garden.
After a few more days of waiting and suffering through some more of Granny’s meals, his plan
started to work! The veggies began to taste more and more like humans…evil humans! “MMMMMHHHH!” said the devil, “this is great!”
Everything was going as planned and he began to eat more and more of Granny’s food. Even
Granny noticed his new appetite and enjoyment of eating her food. It made her so happy to see him eating her dishes, and he always asked for seconds, thirds, …
Until one day! Granny was walking out to the garden to pick some vegetables when she saw three big bears digging up her veggies and she chased them off with a big stick.
“Get away! Shew! Scram!” she yelled!
Afterward, Granny thought about how strange it was to see bears in her garden. They had never been there before. She thought, “Why are there bears in my garden? They never came here before. Usually, they only eat berries and fish… and meat.”
Then, she realized that something was wrong and she put 2 + 2 together! Bears eating my veggies and that little devil eating my food…something must be up!
So, Granny decided to secretly follow the little devil and see what was going on. She hid as he sat upon the “Death Seat” mountain and watched in horror as he slid down the mountain and pushed some bad people, who were cutting down the trees, off the mountain. She then watched in disbelief as he ground them up against the Fleishbank and then sprinkled their dust over her vegetables!
Suddenly, she jumped out from behind a tree and startled the little devil! She scolded him and said, “What do you think you are doing in my garden, you little devil?”
Ashamed, he answered, “Sorry, Granny, but I had to…”
She yelled, “What’s wrong with you? Why did you do such a horrible thing?”
He answered with a tear in his eye, “Granny, I know it was wrong, but I had to…the soup. It just needed some spices. I’m the devil…I can’t live on veggies alone…I need some meat.”
Granny scolded him, “Well, for goodness sakes, don’t you know that veggies provide lots of important nutrients and minerals that your body needs. You may be able to eat that junk at your parents house, but here…young man…you will eat healthy!”
The devil responded, “Sorry Granny.”
Then Granny punished the devil: “Well, I think that you need some time to think about this! Go to the “Devil’s Hole” over on the other side of the mountain and don’t come out until I tell you to.”
…and so the devil hung his head and trotted off to the hole.
And wouldn’t you know it, but he is still there! You can be sure because there is still a lot of toilet paper and trash in the Wilder Kaiser and people who are cutting down the forest. But just wait! When Granny lets him out… be careful and don’t throw anything on the ground.
- Nate, Leigh, and Elli
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